Fixer or Listener?

Holidays put families in the same room for long stretches. Someone you love brings you a worry, and before they finish the sentence you’re already fixing it. Then they walk away feeling unheard, even if your advice was good.

Job’s friends get a bad name, and they earned it later. But they started well. When they first saw him, “they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.” Their silence was the best thing they did.

Proverbs explains why listening matters: “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.” People often know more about their own struggle than we think. A good listener helps them bring it up.

Try one simple question the next time your spouse, child or friend brings you something heavy: do you want help solving this, or do you want me to listen? Sometimes listening is the help.