Fix, Pray or Listen?

When someone we love brings us a problem, many of us reach straight for the toolbox. Here is what you should do. Here are three options. Have you tried this? It comes from a good place. We want to help.

But sometimes the person in front of us doesn’t want a solution yet. They want to be heard. Sometimes they want us to pray with them. Sometimes they want help solving it. We won’t know unless we ask.

James gives advice that fits every home: “let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” And Paul says to “weep with them that weep.” Before you fix, listen. Before you speak, try to understand.

Try this the next time your spouse, child or friend brings you something heavy. Ask gently: Do you want help fixing it, do you want me to pray, or do you just want me to listen? It may be the most loving question you ask all week.